Nan Babo Raseo Because I'm a fool
by emotionalwordplay
Summary: Shinwoo was left by MiNam alone to go to Busan. He hadn't seen his family for 4years. A lot has changed, a lot has happend... How could it possibly affect ShinWoo? Please R&R :D
1. Light and darkness

_She did not come. _I thought as I walked slowly towards the airport's exit. I have always known that she wouldn't return my love. She only takes me as a big brother, not as a man who loves her as a woman. I tried confessing but she always seems to forget about me. When Taekyung calls, she always come running to his side. I just don't understand why she had chosen TaeKyung over me. Taekyung always frowns and iscrabby all the time. But on the other side, I have always been good and sweet to her. In fact, i have always been the one who protected her.

"SHINWOO OPPA!" I heard girls shout. Soon, fans started crowding around me. Papers are piling up in front of me and cameras keep on flashing. I started to smile to hide my sadness. _If only MiNam was here then I wouldn't have faked this smile._ I thought as fans slowly decreased.

At last, fans started to go away. I haven't gone home in years. Ever since I auditioned for ANJell, my schedule had become more hectic. I started to go away. I started to head outside and walk down the street of Busan.

I went past a bridge and saw a setting sun. It was so beautiful. Though the dark orange color of the sun and the darkening sky made the mood gloomy and sad, it was still lovable and people still watch it until it fully sets. Some even wait for it to rise again, just observing its beauty and experiencing the brightness it exerts.

It reminds me of Mi Nam. Though seeing her gloomy and sad makes me feel the same, she's still too adorable to ignore. She's even too beautiful to be unnoticed. But knowing that she could not return my love, I am still waiting for her love to bring brightness into my life - though I don't know when that would happen.

It was starting to get dark. I hailed a cab and started on my way home. I watched the street lamp slowly turn on as the car went past them. Again, it reminded me of her. She kept on shining small lights into my heart and it keeps me hoping that those small lights would come together and pull me entirely out of this darkness.


	2. Why?

"ShinWoo!" I heard Mom call as she came out of the house. I smiled at her and started to take my things. I haven't seen my mother in years! Oh, how I wishe ANJELL was here so that I can introduce them to her - how I wish I could introduce MiNam to my family.

Mom embraced me as soon as I got near her. I felt hot tears on my shoulder - mom was crying.

"I am so proud of you." She sobbed. After a few more seconds, she stopped herself then smiled at me. "Have you eaten already? A...and where's you girlfriend?" She looked around.

_MiNam left me. She had left my heart which I know she could never accept. _"MiNyu had to attend an important appointment. She told me to say sorry she couldn't come. " I lied.

My childhood house hadn't changed. The all still paited pale yellow and falimy pictures are still hung up on the walls. But I noticed something different. It's a very small dtail but it is something new. Something that mom wouldn't do without real importance... A new picture was hung at the end of the hall. I stared at it and couldn't recognize the face. Who is -?

"She's MinWoo's daughter." Mom cut through my thoughts. "Your Hyung had a child with MiKa a yer after you left for Seoul."


	3. My past

"Mi...Ka...? Why?" I stuttered. MiKa was my first love. She left me for no reason four years ago. How can hyung do this to me?

"Shin, it's fine. Besides, MiNyu is already by your side." Mom tapped my shoulder. _How can they do this to me?_ I stood there, frozen. i didn't know how to react - I couldn't even speak staight. Could it be possible that MiKa left me for my hyung? No. Hyung couldn't do this to me - he can't. "Shall we eat now?" Mom tugged at my sweater.

"Where's hyung?" I asked as I sat down the dining table.

"He's cleaning the backyard with you Appa." She served me samgyupsal. "Shall I call them and announce that you have arriced?"

"No thanks, Omma. I'll come later." I smiled.

A few minutes after chatting with Mom, I decided to have a rest and go to my room.

Nothing had changed in my I missed this place. A lot of memories are made in here. I sat on my bed - good thing I cleaned my room before I left. It's easier for me to clean.

I changed into more comfortable clothes and started changing my bedsheets. _If only MiNamn was here, then she could've helped me in cleaning the place. _I sighed.

"Shin?" Mom's voice cut through my thoughts. "Your hyung's here!" She called from outside the room.

"I'll be over in a few moments. I just have to finish cleaning my room." I replied.

I pulled my pillow to remove the case and replace it. Something fell from under it. I picked it up and tears welled up as I saw the picture.

It was my 17th birthday. I spent it with MiKa at the amusement park. It was a few weeks before I went to Seoul for my audition. I closed my eyes to keep the tears from falling but I only saw every detail of the past more clearly.

"Shin~!" I heard MiKa's sweet voice call me. I spun around and was shocked as she reached up and pulled me close. She kissed me. Though we have been going out for more than a year, this kiss was different from all the others. It was my first kiss on the lips.

MiKa pulled away and smiled at me. I was too shocked, I couldn't even move. "Yah. If you continue to be like that, we wouldn't enjoy the rides here." She giggled. Still, I stared at her, not knowing what to really do

She then pulled my sweater and dragged me towards the roller coaster.

That was the best birthday I had so far. It was one of the more unforgetteble moments in my life.

I heard a knock on my door. That was enough to bring me back to reality. MiKa has a daughter now. She couldn't be mine anymore.

The door opened and I saw my bog brother coming in."Yah. Shin. Aren't you planning to meet with us downstairs?" Hyung smiled at me.


	4. We've met again

"Mianhae. I was too tired from the long journey and to top it off, I cleaned my room. I was actually planning to come out after I have relaxed." _I just don't want to see you, hyung. Mianhae. You have hurt me too much now._

"Appa is waiting for you. Are you sure you want to make him wait?"

"Fine. I'll be out in a few minutes. I just have to change my clothes."

"Aigoo. You don't have to be formal in front of appa!" Hyung gave me a playful puch on the arm. Before I could reply, he was literally dragging me towards the living room.

"Omma! Dongsaeng's here!" Hyung called.

"Ah! Shin! Sit down!" Appa smiled at me.

"Does it have to be this formal?" I joked.

" didn't come home for 4 years, and you want to sleep already?" Hyung smied.

I wasn't really in the mood to do anything - especially now that MiNam is not here and I just found out that my big brother had a child with my ex, MiKa. "Mianhae. I was too tired.' I tried to smile but it was definitely evident that I didn't want to talk to them.

"I won't take that as an excuse. Come on! Tell us stories about your life in Seoul." I could sense taht hyung was really in a good mood today.

"You know everything. The press is everywhere. Even fans stay outside our dorm just to see what's new with the band. some reporters are even digging up our personal lives." There was a slight sarcasm in my woice. I hope my parents did not sense it.

"Well, only you and MiNam knows who MiNyu really is. Why don't you give us a slight background about her?" Hyung suggested.

_No. Not that._ I felt a small sting in my heart. MiNam should've been here. I shouldn't have given her the chance to choose - but that wouldn't be me. I never wanted to force MiNam to like me back.

"Yah. Shin, what now?" Hyung was looking at me with an expecting gaze.

"U... uh... that...? I tried to find words. "W... what do you want to know?" _Please don't ask anything, please don't!_ I pleaded in my thoughts. I feel that I could break down anytime now.

"So, how did you two meet?" Hyung smiled at me.

"Well..." I reaclled our made-up story. "It was when MiNam was introduced to the band." I remembered every detail.

"Yah! Go MiNam! What are you doing?" Taekyung shouted at MiNam who was clearly drunk. She was standing at the rooftop's edge. Before anybody say anything else, MiNam fell on TaeKyung and threw up on him. It was, of course, digusting but it had really amused me.

Jeremy took TaeKyung to the van while I was left to take care of MiNam. I picked her up gently, putting her arm around my shoulder and helped her get balance. MiNam's head hung slightly, exposing her neck. Her adam's apple was not evident, proving my theories of her, being a girl. Then as I tried to walk her, she spun around and had her head on my shoulder. It took me by surprise. I haven't embraced a girl for a very long time. Even if she was drunk and out of her consciousness, it was still a hug and she was still a girl.

"Yah, dongsaeng, you're blushing." Hyung mocked me.

"Hyung?" I heard a girl's voice. I spun around and saw my sister, InWoo. "When did you come home?" She looked like she had seen a ghost.

"Whoa, you're a woman now!" I embraced her. "Then... if MinWoo hyung and InWoo dongsaeng is here... then where's WooYoung?" I looked around for my youngest must be a teenager now... I wonder how he looks like, undergoing puberty.

"H... h... hyung?" I saw Young's eyes widen as he entered the living room.

"Yah. Is that the way you greet your hyung?" I smiled at him.

"Yobbo!" I heard a woman's voice call from outside. I noticed hyung stand up almost immediately and hurried to open the door. "Yah. What's with all the people in -" I saw MiKa aburptly stop as she spotted me. "s... s... Shin?" She stuttered.


	5. Catching Up

"Don't call me by my nickname." I snapped at her. She looked down and hyung pat her back. A sudden tension filled the room and I couldn't help but stare at her and at the same time, shoot daggers at my brother.

"Omma, who is that?" A kid of age 2 or 3 asked, pointing at me.

"KaRa, that's ShinWoo ahjussi." Hyung introduced. I can sense sadness and anger in his voice. "Shin, this is KaRa, my child."

"is this the kid?" I stared at her. She looked like her mother. Very adorable. Hyung nodded. "how old is she?" I forced a smile. I pitied the kid. I couldn't let her know what was really going on. She's too young to see this.

"She's turning three next week." Hyung answered.

"Ahh... Is that so?" So, she did leave me for my brother. "Anyway, let's eat something, shall we?" I tried to ease the tension between us. Our parents are already giving us concerned stares. I shouldn't ruin my vacation here. MiNam is ebough to keep me down.

"Yah. Kang WooYoung." I smacked my brother's shoulder playfully. "Do you already have a girlfriend?" I mocked my brother. WooYoung blushed at my question. Looks like my brother really _is_ going through puberty. "Kidding aside, how are you doing?" I smiled.

"I'm planning to audition as a trainee at any entertaiment company." He smiled at me. Well, it wasn't new to me. My brother have always wanted to be an idol. He sings pretty well and could really dance. Well, of all the Kangs, dancing is the only trait that I did not inherit.

"Are you sure? You wouldn't have enough time for yourself if you do that. Look at your hyung. I couldn't come home until ANJell finally had to lie low. But, anyway, it's your descision. If you're really dedicated, then, AN's open for you." I pat his head. "What about you, Kang InWoo?" I turned to my sister. She looks like a young lady now. Very much different from the 14-year-old InWoo that I have left.

"I was thinking of taking up medicine." She smiled.

"That's not a bad idea." Though studying is not really my thing, it seems that she really was interested in it. This scene reminded me of the time I went to Seoul for auditions.

"Are you sure about this, Shin?" Appa looked at me, not really approving of my plan.

"Yes, Appa." I embraced him.

"Remember, you can inherit the company since your hyung wanted to be something else." My dad was really trying to stop me. He wanted me to inherit the company. It was a small shipping company. My dad had inherited it from my grandfather and he wanted one of us to help improve the business.

"I have thought about this already, dad..." With that, i embraced my family then started on my way to the boarding area.

I smiled as I gave my gifts to my siblings and parents. Though, I didn't bring anything for Kara, that's basically because I didn't know she even existed before. InWoo was understanding enough to let me give one of the stuffed toys to Kara and a perfume to MiKa.

After more of the "catching up with each other" moment, we finally decided to go to our rooms and sleep.


	6. What really happened

"Shin, can I talk to you?" Min Hyung sat beside me. I couldn't sleep that night so I stayed on the swing at the front lawn. Everything was hitting me. Maybe going home was not a really good idea after all.

I started to reminisce the childhood that I had spent in Busan. Those were good memories - my frends, the school I have been in, the little adventures, MiKa... _No. Why her? _"Shin, look. About MiKa..." Hyung started.

"Hyung, do you remember the times when we would ride our bikes and go to the beach?" I looked up. I did not want to look at him. Right now, he's an eyesore to me. "Do you remember how we shouted at the ocean to release our anger then go swimming afterwards?" I smiled at the memory. "Do you rememberhow we met MiKa? How we saw her crying by the shore?" I felt tears welling up behind my eyes. "She was depressed at that time, wasn't she? That was the time when her mother passed away." My voice cracked. _No. I am not crying in front of him._ "That was the time when she ran away from home and got lost, right? Then out of kindness, we helped her and let her stay in our house for a month."

:Shin..." Hyung trailed off. I can feel that he was also near to crying.

"And that spring, she transferred to our school. She became my classmate. It was then I started liking her. And not soon enough... we started going out..." memories of MiKa and me are coming back.

"Yah. Shin. Let's go out!" MiKa called me. I did not reply and just sat on the bench. I took my guitar and started strumming. "i'll continue to love her, even if if it hurts me. I'll continue to stay beside her, even if it crushes me. I am going to love her. Because I'm a fool." I sang.

As I played the last note, I felt MiKa sit beside me. "What was that about?" She smiled at me.

"Well, it's a song I like. It reminds me of my feelings for a girl who can't like me back." I sighed, hoping she gets my hint.

"Yah. Who couldn't like you? You're a gentleman and you're too handsome to be unnoticed!" She smacked my shoulder playfully.

"Apparently, it's the girl I like who couldn't" I forced a smile. _So, she didn't get it._

MiKa smiled then put an arm around my shoulders. "Well, if she's that blind, it's not your loss. She';s now losing one of the most handsome and kind men in the world to me, Jung MiKa."

"What are you talking about?" I gave her a quizzical look.

"Ah, Shin..." She blushed. why was she blushing in front of me? "Let's grab some ice cream, shall we?" She stood up then started to walk away. I had to smile to myself. Mika likes me too. and, she just confessed to me! "Yah. Are you coming or not?" She looked back.

Supressing a laugh, I stood up and followed her to our favorite ice cream parlor.

But those were the happy moments when we were still together. I had to snap out of my thoughts. MiKa has a daughter now and worse, she had become my brother's wife. "She's still as lovely as before, isn't she?" I faked a chuckle. "her beauty didn't fade - even if she already gave birth to your daughter." I couln't hide my bitterness now.

"Shin. It's not what you think..." My brother started.

"What else is there to misunderstand? I could see that you are already married with a three-year-old daughter!"

"Listen to me." His voice was stern.

"Do I still have to know something else? Yah. Do you know how much it hurt me when she left? Do you even have the slightest idea how much it killed the happy ShinWoo in me?" I am losing myself. It has been long since I had my last outburst. I couldn't even remember when that happened. "Have you even loved someone to the extent of being angered by it? No. You haven't. You're the one who was always getting the attention that you wanted. " I started to sob. This isn't really like me to be crying like this. "Don't even think of comforting me. You'll just worsen my situation." I stood up and started to leave.

"I know it was wrong to take her away from you. " I stopped walking. Hyung's voice was cold and harsh. "Yes, she was pregnant when she left you. She did not want to abort KaRa. I kept our child. I tried telling you before but I did not want to ruin your carrer."

"Did you know that I was even scared of kissing her on the cheek? I was that careful of her. But what did you do? You took her to bed when she was still dating me! What kind of brother are you?" With that, I stormed off to my room.


	7. Family Day

I slammed the door behind me. Maybe I shouldn't have gone home. It was still too painful for me. So, that was why MiKa left me. It was because she was already pregnant. If only she had told me before she left, then I would've accepted the child, gave up ANJell and raised a family with her. But what's done is done. She has left me. She already concealed a child. She's already married to my brother.

I fell on my knees and just sobbed. Why do I have to hurt this much? I would've understood MiKa if she had loved somebody else... but why my brother? Why him? Why the two of us?

I woke up with a heavy headache. Everything is hitting me hard. I sat up and thought about everything. I couldn't change the past now. I have to move on.

"Hyung, wake up." I heard a knock on my door.

"I'm up, WooYoung."

"If that's the case, then you should come down now. Mom said we're going to go shopping."

"Shopping?" That's sad. My family rarely goes shopping.

"Come on. You haven't gone home for years and you don't want to hang out with us?"

I chuckled. "Fine, I'll be there in a few minutes." I then stood up and went to clean myself.

Everyone was already waiting for me when I came down. "Yah. Why is everyone so excited? It's not like I'll be leacing for a long time. There isn't really any need to go shopping." I greeted them.

"Perhaps you're right. Since you'll be staying for only a few days, why don't you just treat us lunch?" Hyung put his arm around my shoulder. It was awkward, of course, after what happened last night.

"Yah. Hyungnim, why do you have to make Shin hyung treat us all?" InWoo joked. It wasn't until she had spoken when I realized that my brother and I were glaring at each other.

"It's alright, In. I really am supposed to treat you all out since I haven't gone home in years." I faked a smile.

"Well then, should we go now?" Appa smiled at us.


	8. Tragic? Tell Me About It

We went to an amusement park not far from our house. Again, memories of MIKa have flashed in my head. I remembered our first kiss ang all the rides that we went to. Every corner in this place seemed to remind me of my excruviating past.

"Hyung, let's ride the Viking!" WooYoung pulled me. I stopped dead at my trcks. The... Viking? _No. There's no way I am riding that._ "What's wrong, hyung? Why are you so pale?" My brother looked at me.

Then, all of a sudden, that accident came back to me. I was seven years old then. My parents, hyung and InWoo, who was only three at that time, went to the amusement park. We were celebrating my first successful dance recital then. Appa, hyung and I went to the Viking, leaving Eomma to take care of InWoo who was not allowed to ride.

Of course, it was fun. Well, not until the Viking machine had a problem. It stopped at exactly 90 degrees. I was sitting at the last sea, making me the topmost person. Gravity was pulling me down. I was holding onto my seat as I saw the ground a hundred meters away from me. I wasn't usually afraid of heights but this was different.

I felt my seatbelt loosen. It turned out that my safety harness was already broken. I slowly slipped from me seat. I could see Appa look at me with worried and afraid eyes. He was trying to reach out for me but his seatbelt was keeping him from moving.

My hand muscles are getting weaker. Oh no. I couldn't hold any longer. My grip suddenly loosened and I saw the ground getting nearer, and fast. I felt a loud thud at the back of my head. My body was numb. I couldn't move. I saw appa and hyung crying far from me. What happened?

I saw people crowding all over me. I heard eomma call my name. "ShinWoo!" I heard her sob. What's happening? Then, as fast as lightning, my sight went black.

I woke up in a white room. "What happened?" I looked around. I saw an IV on my right hand. My body was aching. "Eomme? Appa? Hyung?" I called out in my weak voice.

"Shin!" I saw appa stand up and rush to my side. "How are you? Do you want anything?" He stroked my hair.

"What happened, appa?"

"You fell, Shin." I saw tears well up in his eyes.

"Why can't I move?" I asked as I tried to reach out and comfort my father.

"You have broken some bones, Shin." Appa was now crying.

"Don't cry, appa. I am still alive, see?" I smiled.

"You don't understand, Shin." Appa shook his head. "You won't be able to dance anymore."

_What? I couldn't dance? Why?_ Questions filled my mind. I loved Dancing! This can't be happening to me!


	9. Noona

My knees weakened. "Yah. What's happening to you, Shin?" Hyung asked as he catched me.

"Oh, nothing." I struggled to get my balance back. "Well, you should ride the Viking. Maybe I would just relax at one of the benches. I'm starting to get tired." I faked a smile.

Hyung, appa and eomma shot me concerned looks. I gave them a reassuring smile and told them to go with InWoo and WooYoung.

"So, you still have that phobia, I see." MiKa said as she sat beside me. Only 4 people know about that accident. They were my parents, hyung and MiKa.

"I wouldn't forget that." I sighed. I can't believe that I am talking to her right now.

"Well, it was really traumatic, though." She sighed. I remembered my operations to bring me back to shape. I had to get steel bones to replace my broken legs. And since it was too heavy for me, my doctors told me to give dancing up so I wouldn't rip my muscles and ligaments apart.

"It ruined my dream, though." I looked up the sky. Stars are filling it now, making the dark night bright.

"But you have done nothing to keep it." Her voice peirced me. _What is she talking about?_ I slowly turned my head and stared at her. "If you really wanted to be a dancer, you could've done something to keep that dream."

"You don't understand, do you?" She knew the doctors stopped me from dancing.

"You should've held onto it until the end. If you have done that and you failed, that's the only time tou could say that you've done everything that you could and that you really love what you were doing." She avoided my puzzled gaze.

I let her words sink into my mind. Was she referring to our relationship before? "What are you talking about?"

"If you went after me that day and asked me why, I would've stayed." Tears started rolling down her cheeks.

"You told me not to follow you." I recalled the day that she left.

"I'm sorry, Shin." MiKa's face was filled with tears of sorrow.

"No. Don't do this to me." I stopped her.

"Don't interfere with my life anymore, Shin." She then spun around and walked away. I wanted to run after her but I wanted to respect her words.

"You did not hold on until the end." She forced herself to stop crying. "If only you held on..." She wiped her tears.

_Has she always wanted me? But... but... but she left me. She told me to stay away from her._

"Anyway, I'm your hyung's wife now. And you are my brother-in-law. Funny isn't it? The way destiny plays with us... pretty amusing." She chuckled. "Since I am your noona now, I want us to start a new relationship." She smiled at me.

"N...noona?" I didn't know that this kind of conversation would go so smoothly. She really is good at talking to people.

"That's right." She beamed.

The day passed quickly. My younger siblings had tried every ride available at the park. They even went to the children's train to accompany my neice.

_Neice._ It was still painful for me to say it. She could've been my child. But after talking to my hyung and his wife, my feelings are not as bitter anymore. "Let's grab some ice cream..." I suggested as WooYoung, InWoo and KaRa came.

"Sure, hyung!" WooYoung smiled. I have never seen him this happy before. Oh how I wish I could stay here longer.

After taking family portraits in the ice cream parlor, we finally decided to go home. Everyone was quiet in the car. The three youngest members were asleep at the back, beside MiKa.

"Yah. Shin, when are you coming back?" Hyung broke the silence.

"I'm not sure. Maybe after our tour or when we are given the chance to hace our own vacations." I forced a smile.

"Don't tire yourself out, okay? If you need someone, the Kangs are always here for you." Hyung assured me. It made me want to cry. After my past with MiKa and after what had happened to them, hyung is still that caring brother I once knew. After all, he's still my sibling and I know I couldn't live on without my hyung.


	10. The Old Me

Days went by. My family was busy with their iown businesses and I was left homw most of the time. I went to different places and had recalled my childhood there.

I even visited the place where the doctors had brought me to recover from my tragedy. I was still on a wheelchair then. I re,e,bered staying under a tree and just watched the other children who are being rehabilitated. I know I didn't need that. I am smart enough to know that I could not dance again. I sighed and sat at my usual place.

That was the time that I started playing the guitar. I wanted to try sports to replace what I have lost but the doctors had to restrict me from activities that require too much leg strength.

But 15 years have passed and my legs have fully recovered. i could now stand up for hours during concerts and not feel any pain.

"You should've held onto it until the end. If you have done that and you failed, that's the only time tou could say that you've done everything that you could and that you really love what you were doing." 'Noona's' words came back to me. She was right. I could've tried dancing when I have recocered. But I was too much of a coward to not pursue my dream.

With that, I rushed back home and took my recital peice. I locked myself in my room and started recalling the steps my tutor had taught me. It was a ballet peice - yes, I took up ballet. Hiphop wans't really that prominent before. besides, all dancers start with gymnastics.

I have struggled with my feet since I haven't danced for a long time. I had to stumble and sometimes fall just to get the steps right.

"Shin, are you alright?" I heard a knock on the door after I fell. They must've heard the thud.

"Yes. I, uh, slipped." I replied. My head is throbbing. Gosh, that fall was a little serious.

"Dinner's ready. We're waiting for you downstairs." I heard hyung say before leaving.

I stood up and went to the bathroom to check for bruises. Manager Ma would not really like it if my face would be bruised. Contented that there were no ijuries on my body, I headed downstairs and went to the dining room.

"Hey, what's for dinner?" I beamed at everyone.

"Yah. Why are you so happy?" Mom eyed me suspisciously.

"Nothing. I just want to be happy on my last night with you guys."

"Are you sure? You know I hate liars." Mom said as she put my bowl of rice in front of me.

"Do I look like I'm lying?" I looked around the table and everyone nodded. "Yah. Don't gang up on me!"

"Hmmm..." Hyung started humming my dance peice. I glared at him then everyone bursted out laughing.

"I told you, you don't have to hide anything from us... besides, you're really bad at lying." Dad laughed.

"I know." I looked down, embarrased.

"Come on, there's nothing to be ashamed about!" Hyung put his arm around my shoulder. "Isn't it good to have the old Shin back?"

"Yeah. It's great to get my old hobbies back." I smiled.

"Old hobbies?" WooYoung looked at us.

"Yah. Kang WooYoung, eat your vegetables." Mom Shoved WooYoung a large wrap of samgyupsal.

"What are you talking about?" WooYoung asked with his mouth full.

"Shut up and eat!" Mom shoved another wrap, filling his mouth.

After dinner, everyone got ready for bed. I headed outside and sat on the swing again.


	11. Going Back

"Aren't you sleeping?" A voice asked.

"Ah, Noona... wel, I am not really sleepy yet." I looked up.

"Yah. I want to see you dance." She smiled.

"I haven't recalled all the steps yet." I said, embarrased.

"I want to see!" She panted. She's still that nagging MiKa I once knew.

"I'll look stupid. You know, I haven't danced for a long time."

"It's okey. Noona can correct you." She sat down beside me. "So,can you show me your dance now?"

With a sigh, I stood up and got ready for the intro. With a deep breath, I started to move. After a few seconds, I got mysel into the dance and unconsciously remembered every step I did when I was seven years old.

I saw MiKa watch me with amazed eyes. I fluidly moved from one step to another.

At last, my peice was done. I ended my performance with an elegant bow. I heard someone clap from behind me. "So, you've finally reunited with your first love." Hyung laughed.

"Did you watch the whole thing?" I asked in embarassment.

"Yah. You don't have to be ashamed! You should give up ANJell and start performing in the broadway!" Hyung pat my back.

"Hyung!" I glared at him. I heard him and MiKa noona laugh. "I'm in love with ANJell now. What happened in the past is left there. What's important now is the present and what would happen in the future." I smiled as I stretched. "I'm going to pack my things now." I smiled then headed to my room.

"The broadway?" I thought out loud as I closed the door behind me. "Was I that good?" I laughed and started packing.

"Shin?" I heard Eomma's voice.

"Ne, Eomma?" I opened the door.

"Here." She handed me a pink boss.

"What's this?" I opened the pink container and found a perfume lying neatly inside.

"I want you to give that to the girl who you will love." She smiled at me. I smiled back and embraced my Mom.

"My Mom's the best." I thanked her.

_Go MiNam._ I thought about her. What would she be doing righ now? _TaeKyung._ His face popped in my head. That cold egotistical jerk. How could someone so innocent and kind like that mean guy? I sighed.

"Yah. Call me when you arrive." Eomma embraced me.

"Ne." I answered. I looked at my siblings then at my Appa whose eyes are red. "Come on. It's not going to be the last time that you will see me!" I smiled, fighting back my tears. "You could catch me at the music shows every week." I joked.

"Hyung! Wait for me in Seoul. I'll become an idol too!" WooYoung embraced me.

"I'll be counting on that, then.:" I chuckled.

"Yah. You guys are too emotional." Hyung hit the back of our heads. "Thanks for everything, dongsaeng." He embraced me.

"MonWoo hyung." I could not hold my tears anymore.

"Yah. Shin. Are you really a guy? Stop crying!" MiKa smiled.

"Thanks for making me snap back into reality. I've learned a lot from my stay here because of you... _noona_." I embraced her. "KaRa... be good to everyone, arachi?"

"Ne." KaRa smiled at me.

"I'll be sending her gift tomorrow." I smiled and gave my family one last hug before boarding the plane.

_I'm going back, Go MiNam. And this time, I won't be holding back anymore._ I thought as my plane left Busan.


End file.
